Shakespeare’s Midsummer Night's Dream and the Dynamics of Female Friendships

A Midsummer Night's Dream by William Shakespeare

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


I absolutely adore this play! It's fun, it's got romance and magic and lots of wisdom. But the best thing about it is that amidst all the magic and strangely bewitching scenery there are - even roughly 400 years after it's creation - certain aspects that are still very relevant today.

The one that stood out to me – at least in this latest reading - was the relationship between Helena and Hermia, who have the kind of friendship or rather 'frenemyship' that sadly still seems to be the predominant kind of relationship between female friends. That they are more frenemies than friends is rather obvious right from their very first encounter in the play, wherein Hermia claims to be totally blameless in attracting Demetrius attentions. Yet, when the tables are turned, she immediately accuses Helena of having bewitched Lysander.

O me! you juggler! you cankerblossom!
    You thief of love! What! have you come by night,
    And stol'n my love's heart from him? (III.ii.282-284)

This is a common phenomenon that I never quite understood: that somehow when a man is unfaithful, the other woman gets much more of the blame than the guy does. The justifications for this all seem to lead to the implication that men are driven by their needs and women are responsible for enticing them - however intentional or unintentional that might be. What is really sad about this is that this kind of rational - that also leads to victim blaming in cases of rape - is so widely propagated and accepted by women.

But turning back to the play, we can see how this dynamic comes about. Notice how Hermia becomes increasingly insecure about her appearance as soon as Lysander's change of heart dawns on her.

And are you grown so high in his esteem
    Because I am so dwarfish and so low? (III.ii.294-295)

This is a telling indication that Hermia is a woman, who measures her own self-worth via external reassurance – especially but not exclusively through male attention. She then turns right around to direct her attacks on Helena. This is because when women define their self-worth like Hermia does, every other woman is essentially a rival and a threat – even and most especially their female friends. This unfortunately doesn't only make Hermia a sad and tragic figure, but also someone with whom meaningful friendship and solidarity are just not possible.

Helena, on the other hand, did handle the same situation in a much different way. She, unlike Hermia, didn't become insecure about her appearance.

Through Athens I am thought as fair as she.
    But what of that? Demetrius thinks not so;
    He will not know what all but he do know. (I.i.227-229)

She also didn't blame Hermia for his change of heart, but Demetrius himself, and was frustrated with her own still lasting obsession with him. She - instead of attacking Hermia - sought her advise, thinking that Demetrius might love her again, if she could just be more like Hermia. The latter, however, in correspondence with her understanding of self-worth misinterprets this as an attack.

His folly, Helena, is no fault of mine. (I.i.200)

She is just too preoccupied with the reassurance of her own self-worth to even manage unimpaired communication with her friend.



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